I met a friend last night for a catch up…it had been at least 6 months since the last time we caught up properly. Most of the time it’s just general chit chat. I am fascinated by her job and the work she does (she’s a doctor) and love asking her lot’s of different questions.
Yesterday however, conversation was much deeper and I left feeling completely enlightened. I haven’t had a conversation like that in a while and obviously I was enjoying myself because we met at 7:30pm and before I even had a chance to glance down at my phone, it was 11pm (and we were given the call of last orders).
One of the topics we talked about was fear and how much it can take over our lives. I went on a Chinmaya camp once and the biggest lesson I learnt was how much of our fears are inflicted upon us by ourselves. We can find so many different catalysts to base our fears on and yet peel away at the layers and we’ll always find ourselves at the bottom.
She went on to send me this very powerful clip from the movie Akeelah and the Bee.
Most of the fears we have come from our childhood. We don’t often remember the memory but our subconscious certainly does and brings it up to haunt us. As a mom, I try my very best not to project my fears onto S. To allow him to live fearlessly…even if that sometimes means I feel like my heart is running around in front of me. While it can be daunting to allow our children to take baby steps towards independence, they are very important steps.
Of course, it’s easy to say we should be living fearlessly but getting out of the rut is difficult for most. I think what I’ve learnt recently is that we need a higher goal, something that’s far more important to ourselves than the fear we hold on to. In my case, it’s S. While having a young child is a huge responsibility and no easy task, he is also my greatest source of courage.
It’s so easy to get sucked into the fear based parenting vortex. How do you overcome your fears and the fears you have for your children?