Dear first time mom

Dear first time mom,

I often find myself congratulating first time mom’s, only to then say things like “Get lot’s of rest while you can” or “Breastfeeding is harder than it seems” or “I hope you’re taking antenatal vitamins” and while I’m sure hopeful you appreciate my advice, there’s some other things I want to tell you.

Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, because life will never be the same again. But this is a good thing. I want to tell you how amazing it’ll feel when your baby kicks for the first time. How you’ll always have one hand around your bump protecting it. How you’ll lay awake at night wandering what you’ll name your child, what colour hair they’ll have, will he/she have your eyes or your partner’s.

I want to tell you about the overwhelming surge of love that will rush through your body when you hold your beautiful child for the first time and the tears that will form in your eyes before you even realise they’re there.

I want to tell you that it’s not always easy, your emotions are all over the place and in the first few weeks post partum you may find yourself burst into tears, for no apparent reason. But then one night at 3am, while you’re feeding your baby, you’ll look down and your heart will feel like it’s about to burst with joy and love.

Your child will test your patience, find all your buttons, push them and push you to your limits but that smile, that giggle, those eyes filled with mischief, you won’t be able to resist them.

You’ll encourage your child to crawl then walk and you’ll take videos and clap with glee when they do. And then right before their 3rd birthday you’ll find yourself sitting quietly one night, with those same tears of love in your eyes because you realise your little baby is not so little anymore.

You’ll answer lots of questions, you’ll get frustrated by many of them and you may even snap when you’re over tired and cranky but when your child is sitting quietly playing with his toys and minding his own business, you’ll miss him.

While being a mother feels like an emotional rollercoaster, and your heart will quite literally hurt when you see them hurt, the pride that comes with raising a child is second to none.

So dear first time mom, be weary, be nervous but also be joyful for the best relationship you’re ever going to have.

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6 thoughts on “Dear first time mom

  1. Lovely sentiment but it’s good to also remind people that not everyone feels the instant surge of love and there’s nothing wrong with that either considering how much is going on xx

  2. This is such a beautiful and respectful letter to first time Mums – there’s such a crazy set of emotions that you go through as a new Mum and there really isn’t any way to prepare for it because everyone has a different experience. I struggled with Post Natal Depression (and I’ve written about it a lot on the blog) and hopefully by showing every side of Motherhood; the good and the not so good, the amazing and the downright hair raising (!) new Mums will feel like they’re not the only ones experiencing this x

    • As I wrote this, I did think of all those moms who don’t have this experience/that bond immediately. PND is a very real thing and I think more light needs to be shed on it. In many cases women just assume they’re meant to feel that way after a baby. I will be forever grateful to my mom who was there for me every step of the way after I had my son, without her I’m certain it would have been a completely different experience for me.

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